Demons Run
by criminalxxxmindsxxxfreak
Summary: Spencer and Derek's relationship is strained after their ordeal with Robert and things only seem to be getting worse when Morgan's mother comes for a visit and Morgan begins to suspect Reid of keeping dangerous secrets. Number 12 in M/R series. M/R slash.
1. I Know You Understand

**Title: **Demons Run

**Rating: **A very high T

**Pairings: **Morgan/Reid

**Warnings: **Allusions to previous sexual assault, forced sodomy and torture; possible suicidal thoughts; extreme amounts of angst; Morgan/Reid slash

**A/N: **Oh gosh. You guys must hate me for taking so long with this sequel, but I did say it would be a while before I got to it. I'm *still* working on "Beauty, the Beast" (Doctor Who/Criminal Minds) and "Everything Burns" (Dark Knight/Criminal Minds). I've been writing a lot of crossovers lately, but I believe that "Beauty, the Beast" only has a few more chapters left and I couldn't leave you guys hanging for so long.

Also, be aware that, unfortunately, updates for this may come a bit slower than usual. Working on two other stories does make my time a bit limited to write. But don't worry. As always, I will update as quickly as possible and try very hard not to make you guys wait more two weeks at a time. Hopefully, it won't come to that.

And for anyone who did NOT read "Satan's Hollow", there are references to it in this fic, but I promise nothing graphic or too disturbing and I'll put up warnings if there's going to be a flashback scene as those may crop up.

The title of this, "Demons Run", as some of you may know is a slight (or more than slight) reference to an episode of Doctor Who ("A Good Man Goes to War") and the lovely phrase "Demons run when a good man goes to war," which I love. Just thought I'd mention that. This won't be similar to the episode so much, but that's where the title comes from and it'll probably make sense why I chose it by the end of the fic.

Now, to end this annoyingly long author's note: thanks to all of readers and reviews who have amazingly stuck with this series so far. You guys are amazing.

I hope you enjoy this! Please review!

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_**Demons Run**_

* * *

Chapter One: I Know You Understand

* * *

Spencer was in the shower when Derek came back in from his morning run. He'd been in the shower when Derek had left over an hour ago. The older man sighed heavily and closed his eyes, trying not to think about the past two months. Things had improved immensely, but the damage had still been done.

Spencer took two or three showers a day, all lasting at least an hour. Derek remembered when he'd done that as a child and how no matter how long he scrubbed his skin he still felt the sick feeling of Carl's hands all over his body. He didn't mention it to Spencer, giving the younger man his space. He knew that he'd gradually stop trying to scrub away the nightmares of the three days they'd been trapped in the woods with a monster.

He sat down on the couch and closed his eyes, breathing slowly. It had been a long and difficult two months. He'd slept on the couch for almost three weeks – Spencer hated to admit that another person so close to him made it nearly impossible to sleep at night. And even now that they were sleeping in the same bed together, Spencer still slept near the edge and panicked if he woke up having rolled into Derek during the night. They hadn't slept together either, not that Derek was pushing anything. He understood exactly what Spencer was going through and knew it would take time for him to recover from it all.

They'd both been in therapy – Reid had only recently been cleared as psychologically healthy enough to go back to work. Derek had insisted that he didn't _need _therapy. He could deal with the nightmares and the flashbacks, he'd done it before. It was Spencer who really needed the therapist. But Hotch had insisted and Strauss had agreed, so he'd ended up one day a week sitting across from a Bureau sanctioned psychiatrist who annoyed him with her patronizing looks and false sympathy.

"You're back," Spencer's hair was still wet when he came into the living room. He was wearing a long sleeved shirt, a vest a suit jacket and his overcoat. Morgan chose not to mention the fact that it was hardly seventy-five degrees and the layers weren't necessary. It was less than what he'd been wearing in the beginning. Progress was slow, but it was still progress.

"Yeah," Morgan sounded a little out of breath as he stood, "Just gonna get a shower, then we've got to get to the airport. You gonna come with me?"

"Of course," Reid nodded, running his fingers through his damp hair. "I'll grab some breakfast while you're in the shower…"

He trailed off and hurried into the kitchen and Morgan sighed. Three months ago, they'd probably have showered together. And even if they hadn't, Spencer still would've kissed him good morning. He tried not to take it personally, but he hated feeling like Spencer was pushing him away. He knew it was because of what had happened with Robert, but that didn't make it hurt any less.

He took his time in the shower, trying to remind himself that he could not be emotional today of all days. He dried off quickly and dressed quickly, swearing under his breath when he knocked his razor off the sink.

"Derek!" Spencer's voice floated into the bathroom, "Sara's on the phone!"

Morgan was frozen in place, fingers reaching out to grab the razor from where it had fallen under the sink, his dark eyes glued to the floor a few inches away. A syringe lying there, needle winking at him in the light.

His heart was pounding as he thought back over the last two months, trying to remember any time when there might have been some warning, some sign that he'd missed or ignored deliberately. He could hear Reid's footsteps coming toward the bathroom and he jerked up, snatching the razor off the floor and leaning against the sink heavily when Reid appeared in the doorway.

"Sara's on the phone," he said, holding out the cellphone to his lover, frowning when he got a good look at him. "Are you okay?"

"Fine, fine," Morgan nodded, grabbing the phone from him and brushing past him. "Hey Sara…"

* * *

**~/.\~**

* * *

"Are you sure you're alright?" Reid had been watching Morgan the entire drive to the airport. The older man was stiff and distracted and Reid couldn't figure out any reason why.

"I said I'm fine," Morgan hadn't meant to snap and he closed his eyes for a moment, fingers tightening around the steering wheel. "Sorry, Spencer, I just… Things have been pretty stressed lately, you know? And now Momma's coming and we haven't exactly told her what happened and –"

"That's it though? Nothing else? You were fine before you took a shower,"

"Nothing else," Morgan glanced sideways at him and fought the urge to bite his lip. He wanted to confront Spencer about the needle, but how could he do that without sounding suspicious? Granted, he was suspicious. It was hard not to be, knowing Reid's history with narcotics and the things he'd gone through recently. He wasn't exactly accusing Reid of using again, but… Seeing that needle wasn't a coincidence. Spencer had thrown out the drugs, gotten rid of the needles. So this was new and that was bad.

Reid didn't look convinced, just a little hurt and a little guilty. "I… I know thing haven't been great, Derek, I'm sorry, I'm trying to… I just…"

"No, Spencer, don't. Don't apologize. I understand, alright? I know how difficult this is for you; I'm not pushing you to get better. I just wish you'd talk to me about it,"

Reid nodded slowly, "I know you understand, Derek, but I… I can't talk about it. I don't want to talk it; I'd rather just… pretend it never happened."

Derek smiled faintly, but worry gnawed at his gut. "I think we'd both like that, but it happened, Spencer. I'll wait as long as you want, even if you never want to talk to me, I'll be there for you. Whenever you need me, for whatever you need."

Spencer nodded and reached over, squeezing Morgan's hand in his briefly. "I know… that's why I love you,"

* * *

**~/.\~**

* * *

Francine Morgan was a force to be reckoned with. Nearly as frightening and overwhelming as one Penelope Garcia. She was still babbling about how much thinner Spencer had gotten by the time they got the car.

"Honestly, Derek, what are you feeding him? He's skin and bones!"

Morgan smiled, shaking his head, "Well it's a good thing you're here, Momma, you can cook for us while you're here,"

"Don't try that, Derek," Fran raised a brow at her son, smirking as she climbed into the backseat, "This is my vacation. _You _are going to treat me… And in return I may just bake a cake or some brownies for you two tonight. If you're good,"

Reid and Morgan laughed lightly and Fran sighed, shaking her head and leaning forward.

"Okay, what's going on?"

"What?" Morgan frowned, glancing back at his mother as she shook her head.

"I called, said I missed you, you invited me here, no explanation…"

"I missed my mother! Do I need a better reason?"

"_You _do. You miss me all the time; I still don't get phone calls," she shook her head, "Something's wrong. You two are acting weird."

"Momma,"

"Don't," Fran shook her head, "You can't lie to your mother and you can't hide anything from me either. Talk, Derek. What happened? What's wrong?"

Reid was tense in the passenger seat and Morgan sighed, closing his eyes again and wishing there were an easy way to tell her this. He'd been lucky when he'd gotten shot; Reid had called her while he was in the hospital. He'd made sure no one contacted his mother after he and Reid were rescued two months ago. Now he wasn't sure how to tell her the truth….

Fran's eyes were dark, "It's something bad," she said, leaning back against the seat. "Derek, talk to me."

He looked over at Spencer. The younger man caught his eyes and he could see fear and worry there. He sighed, "It can wait until we get home, Momma. I'll tell you then, alright? It's… it's hard to really talk about."

Fran nodded, eyeing the couple nervously. Spencer had hardly said a word at all, except hello. He was fidgety and pulled away quickly when she hugged him. Derek was defensive, watching Reid like a hawk, never taking his eyes off the younger man. Whatever had happened, it was bad. Some part of her wasn't sure she wanted to know at all.

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**~/.\~**

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**A/N: **Kind of a short chapter, but I made you guys wait long enough. I really don't know how I feel about it. Iffy, honestly. It's a "blah" for me. But anyway… Got a start at least and I'm looking forward to getting back to this series. I have missed it…

Hope you enjoyed it! Please review!


	2. Don't Let Him Suffer Alone

**Title: **Demons Run

**Rating: **A very high T

**Pairings: **Morgan/Reid

**Warnings: **Allusions to previous sexual assault, forced sodomy and torture; possible suicidal thoughts; extreme amounts of angst; Morgan/Reid slash

**A/N: **First things first, thank you to all the readers and reviewers! You guys are amazing and I love you!

Second, sorry this took so long. I warned you though, the chapters will be updated slower than what I normally give you. Unfortunately, writing three stories at once tends to slow me down a little bit.

Anyway, onto chapter two! Thank you all, once again, for the lovely reviews and alerts and favorites! Hope you enjoy and please review!

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Chapter Two: Don't Make Him Suffer Alone

* * *

Fran watched Spencer and Derek as they entered the house. Derek lingered behind the younger man and his eyes worriedly watched his every move. Spencer on the other hand seemed to be trying very hard to pretend that Derek wasn't even there. She knew something was off between the two of them, but they'd seemed fine just a few months ago. What could have happened to cause this? What could be so bad that two people she knew were in love would be acting so… off.

"I, uh," Spencer's voice was quiet and low, but not the same kind of quiet that she was used to. Not the reserved, shy Dr. Reid quiet, but the _"I really don't want you to even know I'm here"_ quiet. "I'm going to take a shower…"

He trailed off and hurried upstairs. Fran heard the door close a few moments later and she frowned, turning to face her son.

"Derek what is going on?"

Derek's eyes were on the stairs though and he didn't answer her at first, not until she put her hands on her hips and moved to stand directly in his line of sight. "Derek!" she snapped and her son jumped slightly, blinking and finally focusing on her, his eyes worried and anxious.

"What happened?" she demanded. "What's wrong?"

She saw something in Derek's eyes she didn't think she'd ever see again, a look so horrible and broken it made her heart ache inside her chest. It was the same look he had on his face when he – finally – talked to her about what Carl had done to him as a child. The exact same horror and fear and shame and brokenness that still sometimes drove Francine to cry herself to sleep at night, hating herself for not noticing any of the signs.

"Baby," her voice softened and she put a hand on his shoulder, "Please, talk to me. What's wrong?"

Derek took a breath and put a hand over his mother's, guiding her to the couch and sitting down. "It's… a long story,"

* * *

**~/.\~**

* * *

Spencer didn't really need to take a shower; he'd just needed an excuse to get out of the room before Fran started asking her questions. He had absolutely no desire to be there when Derek told her what had happened. Even though he knew Morgan would spare her the nastier details, she'd still come out of the conversation knowing what he'd gone through. What had happened to him. As stupid as he knew it was, he just hated the idea that anyone had to know. It somehow made him feel even more disgusted with himself when people gave him that pitying, sympathetic look. As if they had any idea what he was feeling.

There was only one person who knew what he was going through and that was Derek… And for some reason, Derek was the one he was pushing the hardest. He _wanted _so badly for things to go back to the way that they had been before. But things were too broken, too irrevocably changed for that to happen. So he clung to whatever desperate sense of normalcy he could find. Derek was patient, he didn't bring it up, he never insisted that they discuss things whenever he woke up choking back sobs and shaking. He was never pushy or cross of upset, at least not openly. He was simply there for him, a shoulder to cry on, arms to hold him. Whatever he needed, Derek was it. So why was he being so distant?

Even Spencer didn't know the answer to that question.

The doctor leaned heavily against the bathroom door, closing his eyes and allowing his legs to fold underneath him as he sank to the ground. The door was locked and he had turned the shower on, but had no real intentions of getting inside. Not now anyway. Probably later.

Despite having Derek, having the team, there for him, despite all the hurdles he'd passed in the last few months, he still felt so incredibly alone. Lost and confused and horrified. The worst part was that even though Derek had been trapped in that basement in Robert's cabin, Derek hadn't seen everything Robert had done. He hadn't been right there through every horrible detail of what had happened.

Spencer had thought, hoped in fact, that Derek having not been witness to everything would have made it easier, but it just made it worse somehow. The things he hadn't seen remained Spencer's burden and Spencer's alone. Derek knew beyond a doubt that Robert had raped him, had touched him and forced him to do things he didn't want to do, but Derek didn't know any of the specifics of those hours spent in Robert's bedroom upstairs, of the conversations that had taken place, of the things Robert had done to him on the couch in the living room… Those things were unspeakable, unmentionable.

And Spencer would give _anything _for them to just go away.

Never in his entire life had he felt this alone, this helpless. This desperate. He'd thought he'd reached his lowest point during the Hankel episode in Georgia years ago. Then he'd thought he'd reached his lowest point during the subsequent addiction that had resulted from the kidnapping. Then he'd thought he reached his absolute lowest during the withdrawals while he detoxed all those years ago. Then he'd changed his mind, thinking it had to be the cravings he'd began to suffer not long after he'd detoxed. But no, _this _was definitely his lowest point.

Sitting on his bathroom floor, shaking from some emotion he could identify and feeling absolutely alone.

Slowly, Spencer tugged his jacket off with numb, fumbling fingers and yanked the buttons of his cuffs open, rolling each long sleeve up with rapid, almost robotic dexterity. Then he let his head fall heavily against the wood of the door and shut his eyes. The fingers of his left hand moved of their own accord, shifting to the inside crook of his right elbow and pressing gently. Massaging the soft skin.

It was several minutes before the FBI agent opened his eyes and tears glistened there, not falling, just sitting there, blurring his vision. He tilted his head down to stare at the spot where his fingers were resting and he cringed. Staring at him, mocking him, laughing at his pain, was a faint, red-purple bruise. Not the result of years-long-past abuse. This was recent. Extremely recent… Last night recent.

Spencer glared down at the mark, feeling the intense urge to scratch it, but resisting that urge. His entire body felt weak and he could feel the faint, tingling need and desire pressing against him, smothering him. Quiet, seemingly innocent words floated through his mind. Words he hadn't heeded or even heard in years…

_It makes the pain go away…_

The awful thing was, no matter how wrong Reid knew the voice was, it was _right. _The pain did go away. Everything went away for just that brief, wonderful window of ease and clarity. There was no pain, no memories, no worries. Nothing but the wonderful feeling of soaring away from his problems, of not having to deal with anything at all because nothing was important.

He hadn't meant to, that's what he told himself. Honestly, he had never planned on using again… The drugs had been left over from before he'd gotten clean. Derek hadn't known about them. He never intended to use them, he just kept it around to remind himself that he had beaten the addiction. Somehow, at the time, that had seemed like a good idea.

Now, however, he hated himself. Not only had he sunk so low that in a moment of weakness he'd practically shoved the needle into his arm, he'd used _all _of the remaining supply he had. Granted, it hadn't been much, but it had still been far more than he usually used. Now he was sitting in the bathroom floor, staring at the needle mark, screaming at himself for doing it, yet feeling that tug of need telling him that he had needed that release. That for the first time in months he'd felt… good. He wanted to feel that way again. Desperately.

But he had used all the Dilaudid he had…

The same voice in his head was pleading with him now, begging him to do something because, damn it, it _hurt. _The memories, the nightmares, the way things were with Derek… Everything fucking hurt and he was tired of hurting. He just wanted to make it all stop hurting.

Without thinking anything through too thoroughly, Reid stumbled his way to the medicine cabinet and shoved past the ibuprofen and Nyquil and Band-Aids to the very back corner. A small bottle sat there, still full of pills and never opened. Oxycodone.

His name was on the prescription, but he'd never even held the bottle in his hands. His doctor had prescribed them after he'd gotten out of the hospital. She'd told him to take them if his pain persisted. The pain had, but he hadn't taken them. Derek had picked them up and kept them anyway, just in case he had needed them…

He swallowed roughly and twisted the cap off the bottle, shaking out two pills into his hand and staring at them, rolling them around between his fingers for a long moment. Teetering on the edge of slipping right off the cliff. If he did this, there was no going back. He was silently telling himself that this would be a one-time thing, but he knew he was lying to himself. He was at the point of no return and he had no idea what to do.

It hurt so bad.

But he didn't want to give in to that pain.

But it made him feel so good.

But the feeling was only temporary.

But the pain was getting worse.

But what would Derek think?

But Derek didn't have to know.

But how could he lie to him?

But he'd already lied, what was one more?

This was a bad idea.

This would make him feel _better._

He really shouldn't do this.

What would it really hurt? It was just a couple of pills…

He didn't need this.

But he wanted it.

And suddenly, hands shaking, brow sweating, Spencer swept the pills into his mouth and swallowed them dry, closing his eyes. He sank back down to the floor after nearly slamming the medicine cabinet shut. He hated himself as he leaned against the wood of the door again and waited for the pain to stop. He hated himself for giving in.

* * *

**~/.\~**

* * *

Francine had listened in silence as Derek told her the – short and graphic free – story of what had happened to Spencer and him on their camping trip. Of the nightmare that they'd been through. Once he was finished, Fran took a deep breath and steadied herself. She hadn't realized that she'd been crying until Derek reached out and wiped his mother's tears away.

"…Is he really okay?" she asked tentatively. "He's getting better?"

Derek nodded slowly, almost as if he weren't really sure. Fran wanted to ask what was wrong now, but stopped herself. She'd heard enough bad news for one day. For one lifetime or more, really.

"He's talking to me more, we're sleeping in the same bed again. His therapist even says he ready to go back to work," he didn't sound even a little bit encouraged by any of this news, however, and Fran knew that there was something worrying her only son.

"If this is a bad time, Derek, I can go back home, you two need –"

"What we need is to move on," Derek interrupted her. "Spencer, especially, needs normalcy. He needs to remember that despite all the bad things, good things can still happen. Don't go. I didn't ask you to come just so you'd leave."

Francine sighed, nodding uncertainly. "I'll stay," she said, "But… Derek please be careful. You're the only person he knows who can really understand what he's been through, but he's not going to open up to you about it or anything else if you don't try to get him to talk."

"Momma,"

"No," Fran shook her head, cutting him off before he could argue, "I know he doesn't want to talk and you don't want to talk. But, Derek, I know you and I've gotten to know Spencer very well. Talk to him. Remind him that it's okay. You…" she paused, swallowing and looking down at her hands, "You never said anything either. And I know it must've eaten you alive not to talk about it. Don't do that to Spencer. Don't make him suffer alone, in his own head. You love him too much to do that to him."

Derek felt guilt settle against his shoulders as his mother smiled sadly and squeezed his hands in hers before standing and heading to the kitchen, saying she was going to make some coffee. Derek sat on the couch, staring down at his hands and feeling that guilt start to nag at his conscience.

He knew he _should _have done more to get Reid to talk, but… talking about it only made him feel worse. He knew it had to make Reid feel worse. It was painful and uncomfortable and he didn't want to relive a single moment of it. Despite the fact that he'd been reliving most of it every night in his dreams or every day when he caught sight of that broken look in Reid's eyes. Keeping it pushed inside him was dangerous and unhealthy, but that was how Derek and Reid both dealt with things.

He sighed and closed his eyes, remembering the needle he'd found that morning. Things had gone too far, even if Reid hadn't been using. Clearly, he'd been considering it. Derek couldn't let this escalate. He resolved to talk to his lover that night. Whatever it took, he was going to see Reid through this. He was going to make things okay again.

* * *

**~/.\~**

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**A/N: **I feel like a hypocrite because I always said I would never write a story where something bad happens and Reid starts using again… Most of those stories that I've read are just awful and they never give me a good enough justification for why he'd chose to go back to drugs. Still, I believe that this is a very good breaking point for him and though it pains me to say it, it is extremely likely that given the circumstances here, Reid would definitely have started using again.

No, I have no idea how far things will go in the drug area of this fic. Maybe he'll quit when the bottle's empty, maybe he won't. I hate to say it, but Reid's an addict and he's suffering so one bottle is doubtfully going to help. Morgan, on the other hand, will help. Once he can get through to Reid anyway.

Still, I also said I'd never write slash and look at where that got me. I should just stop saying I'm not gonna do things. I think my muse takes that as a challenge.

Anyway, sorry for the long A/N. Hope you enjoyed(?) the chapter. Heavy stuff, I know and it's only going to get worse. Please review and let me know what you think!


	3. We Need To Talk

**Title: **Demons Run

**Rating: **A very high T

**Pairings: **Morgan/Reid

**Warnings: **Allusions to previous sexual assault, forced sodomy and torture; possible suicidal thoughts; extreme amounts of angst; Morgan/Reid slash

**A/N: **Sorry, sorry, sorry! I am so sorry for taking so long *again*. Life just keeps getting in the way. On the plus side, I finished "Beauty, the Beast" (the Doctor Who/Criminal Minds crossover) so am now only writing two stories instead of three.

Thank you all for your reviews! The angst is only just beginning, let me promise you that. And I appreciate all the readers/followers as well.

Please don't forget to review! (And forgive me for taking so long!)

((Also, I've included the entire poem (minus the last two lines 'Demons run, but count the cost/The battle's won, but the child is lost') at the beginning of this chapter for reference. Any non-Whovians feel free to interpret it as you will; I've decided it fits very well with what I have planned for this fic))

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_Demons run when a good man goes to war  
Night will fall and drown in sun  
When a good man goes to war  
Friendship dies and true love lies  
Night will fall and the dark will rise  
When a good man goes to war  
_**Steven Moffat**_**, Doctor Who "**__**A Good Man Goes to War**__**"**_

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Chapter Three: We Need To Talk

* * *

"Are you sure Spencer's alright up there by himself?" Fran asked, glancing over at her son. It had been over and hour and Spencer had yet to come down from his shower. The nervous tension rolling off of Derek was palpable. He fidgeted and glanced toward the stairs every few minutes and at the slightest sound. He understood taking the shower, of course he did, but Spencer had just taken a shower before they left. He'd never needed another so quickly before and never took this long to finish. Some small, worried voice kept telling him that this wasn't a shower and he remembered the needle that he'd found that morning.

"I'm… sure he's fine, Momma," Derek assured her, only glancing at her for a second. He stood anyway, "I'll go check on him to make sure."

Francine sighed and nodded, shaking her head as Derek mounted the stairs. Something was very wrong. More wrong than either of them were letting on. She knew how difficult the situation was for them, to go through something as terrible as they had, but both of them were trying to pretend that it had never even happened and that was simply ridiculous and if she were being honest, stupid. They couldn't make this go away by not acknowledging it, no matter how much they wished that they could.

* * *

**~/.\~**

* * *

Spencer felt… good. Far better than he'd felt in such a very long time. He hadn't taken drugs – except that one time the previous night – in years. He'd nearly forgotten the feeling. Like he was walking on air, flying. Nothing hurt, not even his emotions could hurt him now. He could forget all about Robert and the things that had happened those few months ago. Like it had never even happened.

When he'd first started using he'd been foggy-minded. A bit off. But over time he'd grown used to the drugs in his system, sometimes he could even think more clearly when he was high. Made no sense, at least not to him, but it made the choice a simpler one whenever he'd go to work still riding a high.

He'd been sitting on the bathroom floor, eyes closed, humming to himself. Just relieved that the pain had finally stopped. Then he heard footsteps on the stairs and his eyes opened slowly, blinking a few times as he struggled to remember why feet on the stairs was a bad thing.

Derek.

Oh shit.

He stumbled up in his haste, his body not fully wanting to cooperate with him. He shoved the small bottle of pills into his pocket and turned off the shower. The sound of the water spinning down the drain made him want to go turn it back on and jump into it, but then Derek was knocking on the door.

"Spencer? You alright in there?"

Answer. He needed to answer. But he didn't know how to answer, his mind scrambling for the right words as he forced himself to breath properly. He'd only taken two pills; it wasn't like he was _that _high. He'd done this before: made the team believe he was sober when he wasn't. Granted, they eventually figured it out once the drugs started to take over his life. But that wasn't going to happen this time. He'd be careful.

"Fine," he said, pleased when his voice came out nearly as normal as ever. He certainly sounded fine, that was for sure. And he felt wonderful. The absence of the pain made everything seem so much more in focus, so might brighter and more vivid. Or maybe that was the drug. Right now, he couldn't really be sure.

Derek hesitated. Why did he hesitate? Was there something wrong with his voice? He hadn't thought so, but… Derek had been acting strange all morning. There was no way he'd figured it out already. He'd only taken the Dilaudid last night and the pills an hour ago. He couldn't know. Of course he didn't, that was idiotic.

"Momma made coffee…. It's cold now, but I could make you a fresh pot if you want any,"

He sounded worried. But why wouldn't he? He had every reason to be worried. Spencer took a deep breath, working to focus his mind. He had to make sure Derek wasn't suspicious; he knew Derek finding out about this would only make things worse.

"That's alright," he said, "I'm not really in the mood for coffee."

Better answer the alternative.

"…Okay. Are you almost done in there? It's been a while."

"Yeah," Reid nodded, running a hand through his almost completely dried hair. Damn. He'd have to make it look like he'd actually showered if he wanted Derek to be less suspicious. "I'll be down in a few minutes, alright?"

"Okay…"

He heard Derek's feet, fading away and he sighed, closing his eyes. As soon as he could no long hear Derek's footsteps on the stairs he turned the shower back on and hastily undressed, standing under the warm jets for a few minutes and then jumping out. He shook his now wet hair and scrubbed a towel through it, dressing quickly in the clothes he'd been wearing and hurrying downstairs, the small bottle of pills pressing against his thigh, burning into the skin. God, he hoped Derek didn't notice that.

* * *

**~/.\~**

* * *

Derek looked even more worried when he came back down stairs, mulling over what Spencer had said. He'd sounded fine, which in itself was odd. Over the last couple of months he'd gotten used to the pained, almost hollow tone that had inhabited his lover's voice. But that voice sounded very much like the Spencer he remembered. Normally, he'd consider that great news, but not when the possibility of drugs was still looming over his head. There was simply no way that Spencer had miraculously recovered in the time it took him to take an extra-long shower.

And then he'd said he wasn't in the mood for coffee. Even after all that had happened, Spencer was never not in the mood for coffee. Of course, he'd nearly drank the previous pot by himself before they left, but that was nothing for Spencer. He consumed coffee at a rate that would fry a normal human being's mind and yet he wasn't in the mood for it?

He tried to tell himself that didn't mean anything. That Spencer _did _drink less coffee when they weren't on a case. But that didn't soothe his worries because all he could think about was that damn needle that he'd found and wondering whether or not Spencer had used it or simply thought about using it. Either answer was bad, but at least one of them gave him considerably more hope than the other.

"Was he okay?" Fran asked, frowning when her son walked right past her and into the kitchen. He grunted and nodded in response, his answer clearly yes, but also clearly a lie. If nothing was wrong, he would not be acting this way.

She sighed and shook her head. These boys certainly needed someone to set them on the right path again after all that had happened. If that someone had to be her then she'd take that job without question.

She smiled at Spencer as he came down the stairs, hair damp from his shower, looking slightly nervous but much better than he had before he'd gone upstairs. What would bother Derek about that? Spencer looked absolutely fine, almost happy if she had to put a word on it. Why would that make Derek act that way?

"Feeling any better, sweetheart?" she asked gently, standing. She could see in his eyes that he knew that she knew now. She'd expected him to look more upset, more uncomfortable. But instead he just looked… passive.

He nodded, "Yeah, I just needed a shower. I feel much better now. Where's Derek?"

She scrutinized him for a moment, feeling that something was off. She didn't know what, but she could see it in his eyes. Round and anxious yet inexplicably free of the hollow, broken look that she'd seen that morning. Something was off.

"In the kitchen," she said, "I think he's brewing another pot of coffee."

Without another word, Spencer quickly made his way to the kitchen, standing in the entrance for a moment, just watching Derek. The older agent had his back to him, hands fiddling around with something. When Spencer stepped in and the floor creaked a bit he shoved his hands into his pockets and spun around, staring at him.

"Derek…" Spencer started to say something, not entirely sure what, but he felt that he probably should. Something needed to be said to get that horrible look of worry and anxiety off of Derek's face.

But Derek cut him off, pressing his lips together and crossing his arms over his chest.

"Spencer… we need to talk. Now. It's important,"

* * *

**~/.\~**

* * *

**A/N: **Hmm, not sure if that counts a cliffhanger or not. This chapter was a bit difficult to write and I don't know how I really feel about it. But still. Little short, but I hated to leave you guys waiting any longer than you've already waited.

Please let me know what you think! (And again, please forgive me for taking so long to update!)


	4. I'll Make This Better

**Title: **Demons Run

**Rating: **A very high T

**Pairings: **Morgan/Reid

**Warnings: **Allusions to previous sexual assault, forced sodomy and torture; possible suicidal thoughts; extreme amounts of angst; Morgan/Reid slash

**A/N: **I'm beginning to understand that my muse hates me. I started to work on this chapter, when she goes off and decides that, no, she wants to play with Sherlock and John and make them as miserable as possible. So yeah, sorry for taking so long again. I miss my daily updates more than you guys do, I think.

But still. Thank you all for the wonderful reviews and alerts/favorites adds! Your support means the world to me guys!

And now, onto chapter four! More drama and probably some angst on the way. My poor boys are really being put through the wringer here. *sigh* My muse is a sadist.

* * *

Chapter Four: I'll Make This Better

* * *

Spencer swallowed roughly, "Talk? Talk about what?"

Derek gave his lover a long, questioning look, wondering if Spencer really could think they had absolutely nothing to talk about. He looked upset and worried, but his eyes were still clear, still focused, that hollow look gone. He took a deep breath, "I found… I found a needle on the bathroom floor this morning, Spencer,"

Spencer tensed, frowning at him, silent for a long moment, trying to think of something to say. He was half tempted to break down and just admit everything, but some small, screeching voice in the back of his mind just refused to let him do that. He needed more time, just a little more time and he'd be fine again and everything could go back to the way it was and he and Derek could be happy and Robert would be the memory of a nightmare.

"And?" he finally responded, his voice a bit harsher than he'd actually meant for it to come out. He sounded far too defensive. Derek would be suspicious for sure if he kept that up.

"And?" Derek frowned, shaking his head, "And, you've been acting weird all morning. And I'm worried about you…." He trailed off and closed his eyes, "Spencer… please… please tell me that you aren't…"

He couldn't make the words come out of his mouth; the weight of them was just too heavy. He bit his lip and avoided looking into his lover's eyes, not wanting him to see the accusation lingering there, not wanting him to know that he didn't really trust him. Not now, anyway.

"That I'm not what?"

And there it was. That hurt, wobbling Spencer's voice as he gazed at Derek. "Not using again? Do you really think that I'd –"

"I don't know what to think," Derek cut him off, looking up and shaking his head. "Spencer, I love you. I'm worried about you and I don't want to see you go down that road again. But what am I supposed to think when I find a needle on the bathroom floor? With your history –"

There was something in Spencer that was breaking apart, crumbling. He knew Derek was right, but hearing him say it hurt anyway. He hated the fear and disappointment there that made him just want to curl up and hide. If there was one thing Spencer didn't want to do, it was hurt Derek in any way.

"My history?" Damn it. He was almost crying. He scrubbed angrily at his tears and swore in his head, his high ruined. Apparently, being confronted blatantly about his drug use by his lover was a huge buzz kill.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Derek gave him a half-annoyed, half-desperate look and shook his head. "Don't do that, Spencer,"

"Don't do what?" Spencer demanded, voice still stuck somewhere between fear and anger. It was as if his brain couldn't quite decide which emotion fit best for the moment.

"Don't start getting defensive. You and I both know I wouldn't bring this up if I wasn't worried about you,"

"Well don't be," Spencer said, shaking his head, "I'm fine, Derek, alright? I'm coping. What more do you want from me? The last few months haven't exactly been easy."

"I know that, Spencer! They haven't been easy for me either, but that doesn't mean I'm going to let this go. I found a needle! I know I didn't put it there, so you had to. What were you doing with a needle?"

Spencer's jaw was tight and he just shook his head. "Don't do this, Derek, just don't. I'm fine. I'm… fine."

Derek deflated, shaking his head and sighing, "No, you aren't. And you shouldn't be. What we went through –"

"What we went through was Hell," Reid cut him off, "I know. I was there. I'm the one the bastard raped! I…" he broke off, his words choking in his throat and he scrunched his eyes shut tight, shaking his head. "I don't want to talk about it, Derek. I don't. Don't make me, please, don't make me do that."

The older man sighed, "I'm not, Spencer, not now… I just want to know what the needle was doing there. If… if you did use again, it's not too late to get help, you know I won't let you go through this alone, Pretty Boy. I'm not leaving your side as long as you need me here."

Spencer took another deep breath, nodding slowly and pressing his lips together tightly. "I… I…" he hesitated, the voice of reason arguing in his head over the voice telling him that Derek didn't need to know. There was no point in hurting Derek any more than he already had.

Finally, he shook his head, "I didn't use," he nearly whispered, "I… I thought about it. Last night…"

He slowly looked up and met Derek's eyes. Relief and concern mixing oddly in his expression. Slowly, Derek reached out and pulled Reid to him, holding him close for a long moment as Spencer felt the guilt and shame wash over him.

"It's okay, Spencer," Derek whispered, "I'll get us through this, alright? I promise. I'll make this better, somehow…"

Spencer could only nod, fighting the urge to cry as he buried his face in Derek's shoulder. He felt warm and familiar and strong and it helped so much to make the memories fade away. It wasn't enough though, and Spencer was scared that it never would be enough. He'd already let Derek down… How much farther was there really left to fall?

* * *

**~/.\~**

* * *

Fran watched as the two men exited the kitchen, both looking so much worse for the wear. Spencer's eyes were a bit bloodshot and his hands were shaking slightly. He immediately excused himself and said he wanted to go for a walk outside. Alone. Derek watched him go and sank down onto the couch, hiding his face in his hands and letting out a heavy, shaky breath.

"That bad?" Fran asked gently, putting a comforting hand on her son's shoulder.

Derek took a second to compose himself and sat up, taking his mother's hand and shrugging, "Better than I thought," he said, "But… it's bad."

"What's going on, Derek?" Fran asked, "I know he's hurting and your hurting, but… That's not what's bothering you right now."

"No… I… Spencer used to… I mean, a few years ago he…" he sighed, shaking his head and meeting his mother's eyes. "Never mind."

Francine frowned, "You can trust me, Derek, baby, you know that, don't you?"

Derek nodded slowly, "I know, Momma, but… I think I've given away enough of his secrets for today. Don't worry. I've got this under control. He'll be alright."

His mom sighed as he stood and went back into the kitchen, leaving her alone. There were so many things she wanted to tell him, but she wasn't sure how. Sometimes, though, she knew, no matter how badly you wanted to fix things, some things were just too broken to be repaired. She didn't want that to be true with Derek and Spencer, but she was scared that that was exactly the direction things were heading if they kept avoiding each other the way they were.

She stood and grabbed her coat, popping into the kitchen for a moment, "Derek? I'm going to go out for a while. I'll be back in about an hour, alright?"

She wasn't sure he'd even heard her, he just grunted and fumbled around in the kitchen, apparently looking for something to distract him from whatever it was that was bothering him about Spencer. Sighing, she left quickly and looked around the street, hoping Spencer wasn't too far gone…

She spotted him a few hundred yards ahead of her, walking down the sidewalk with his hands shoved into his pockets and she raced to catch up.

* * *

**~/.\~**

* * *

His mind was scattered. Broken thoughts hardly having a chance to fully form before they drifted away. Derek's face, that anxious, scared look on his face. Fran's concern, glowing in her eyes as she stared at him with that motherly frown on her face. The worried whispers of the team after he'd gotten out of the hospital. Hotch ordering him to see the therapist before he could come back to work.

That first, terrible week after he'd been released from the hospital. Flashes of blue eyes, gleaming with desire and hunger. A bitter, twisted laugh. Pain. Fear. Tears. The gnawing pit in his stomach every time Robert pointed his gun at Derek. The nightmares. The shudders and shivers that ran through his entire body with just one unexpected touch.

The long showers, the feeling of fingers trailing over his body.

The desire to just stop feeling everything. To make it all go away and disappear.

Derek's arms. Comforting him. Holding him. His voice assuring him that everything would be okay. He was lying. It wouldn't be okay. How could it ever be okay again after what had happened? There was no way he'd be whole again.

The needle. Pushing under his skin, the rush of Dilaudid flushing through his system, making everything so much clearer and brighter. Erasing the pain.

The pills worked, but they weren't the same.

The bruise on his arm where he'd shoved the needle in.

The whispers in his head telling him that he needed more.

The very edges of withdrawal just touching his mind. He needed something stronger than the pain killer in his pocket. The only problem was he wasn't sure he was willing to go back into that world again. Not yet. He wasn't that desperate.

Maybe the pills just needed more time.

His fingers wrapped around the bottle and he started to pull it out of his pocket and pop the cap off when he heard footsteps behind him and a faint voice calling his name. Slowly, he turned to see Fran half-jogging behind him. He slid his hands out his pockets and waited, swallowing roughly as she caught up with him, offering him that comforting smile.

"Thought I might keep you company," she said gently, "You looked lonely."

Spencer didn't say anything, just nodded and slid his hand into his pocket, fingers once again wrapping around the bottle of pills, mind wandering back to the drugs as he continued walking down the path, barely aware of Francine's presence at all.

* * *

**A/N: **I feel terrible for writing this chapter. But then again, it's just how things are happening and I blame my muse entirely. She is evil.

Hope you enjoyed and please review!


	5. You'll Just Have to Make Him Listen

**Title: **Demons Run

**Rating: **A very high T

**Pairings:** Morgan/Reid

**Warnings:** Allusions to previous sexual assault, forced sodomy and torture; possible suicidal thoughts; extreme amounts of angst; Morgan/Reid slash

**A/N: **First, another apology. More than a week is really unacceptable for me to write chapters, but in my own defense, writing three stories and being busier than I really should be does mean less writing time. Please forgive me.

Second, THANKS so very much to all the readers/reviewers! You guys are just fantastic and I love you all very much and hope you continue to enjoy the story.

**Third, due the recent (annoying, pointless) "purging" of the site, I have begun double checking that all my fics are saved on my computer. Should I lose anything I will edit and repost it as soon as possible and post the non-edited, uncensored versions elsewhere.**

**For you guys, specifically, this means that several other fics in the series (although, not this fic, I don't think) are in danger. It also means that from now on, or at least until FF includes an MA rating choice, I will NOT post anything explicitly sexual or violent on this site, but if I write anything explicit, I'll put censored, edited versions here and I'll post the uncensored versions elsewhere and provide you guys with links if you want to read that version (personally, I'd much rather FF just give us an MA rating. For Pete's sake, it isn't THAT difficult to do that is it?)**

Anyway, sorry about that, but I wanted to get that out there. Now, back to the story!

Please review!

* * *

Chapter Five: You'll Just Have to _Make_ Him Listen

* * *

They'd been walking in silence for about five minutes before Fran decided to speak up again, choosing her words carefully, "Spencer… have you and Derek talked? I mean, really talked, since… you got home?"

Reid flinched a bit, looking down at the ground, hands shoved deep into his pockets. He'd been hoping Fran wouldn't say anything because he really didn't want to talk to her or anyone else about this. It was bad enough have to deal with a therapist and almost impossible to talk to Derek. He didn't need anyone else bothering him with memories he would much rather not have.

"Of course we have," he said, "We talk all the time."

Fran glanced over at him skeptically, "Spencer," she sighed, "You know what I mean. Have you sat down and just talked about how you feel?"

"What's to talk about?" Spencer muttered, a bitter edge to his voice.

Fran watched him sadly, "I know you don't want to talk about this, Spencer. Derek doesn't either, but you need to get past this… road block. I can even begin to imagine how hard this is for you, but –"

"No, you can't," Reid snapped, "So don't try to act like you understand."

Fran started to say something else, but whatever it was Spencer didn't want to hear it, turning away from her and jogging down the street, not bothering to look back as he found a bus stop and sat down at the bench, wrapping his arms around himself.

Francine bit her lip, taking a few cautious, unsure steps forward before deciding better of it. He clearly didn't want anyone to talk to him at the moment and she didn't want to push him away. Maybe a few hours alone was just what he needed. For his sake and Derek's she hoped he would come around; she hated seeing him hurting like this and refusing to accept help from anyone. With one last, sad look behind her, she turned and headed back to the house.

* * *

**~/.\~**

* * *

Despite the time of day, Spencer felt cold and his fingers were once again wrapped around that Oxycodone bottle, feeling an odd mixture of relief and anxiousness. It wasn't enough and it would never be enough, Spencer knew that. It was getting so hard to ignore that little voice in his head that told him that the pills weren't what he wanted. He wanted something altogether different and altogether more illegal.

At least he had a prescription for the pills…

He was fidgeting, which made no sense. It wasn't nearly long enough for withdrawal to have set in. He clenched his fists and closed his eyes, telling himself that it was mind over matter. The pills were good enough to take the edge off the pain; he certainly didn't _need _this to go any further than that. He would be fine without anything else.

He kept telling himself that, sitting there for over an hour, muttering to himself. He felt like hell and he knew he probably didn't look much better. Finally, he looked around furtively and slipped the bottle out of his pocket, rolling it around in his fingers, listening to the pills tumble together for a moment before snapping the lid off. Shaking out two of the small pills, he stared at them in his hand and then quickly, before he could argue with himself any longer, threw them into his mouth, swallowing roughly.

He could feel the pills forcing their way down his throat and he quickly recapped the bottle, slipping it back into his pocket and standing, right hand still in his pocket, gripping the bottle for dear life. For now, they would do and once they were gone, he would be fine.

At least, that's what he was telling himself.

* * *

**~/.\~**

* * *

After his mother had left after Spencer, Derek had begun compulsively cleaning the kitchen. Scrubbing the counters, the toaster, the coffee pot, and the dishes from that morning. Anything that could be cleaned, whether it needed to be or not, was going to be cleaned. He was scrubbing the inside of the microwave when he heard the front door open and he looked up.

"Spencer?" his voice hitched an odd pitch he didn't think it ever had before. He couldn't help it though. He'd been doing nothing but cleaning and thinking for the past… however long it had been. He knew that his "talk" with Spencer hadn't gone the way that he'd hoped and he was going to fix that as soon as Spencer came back. He just had to figure out a way to speak calmly and rationally to his lover without setting him on edge. He knew Spencer was in a bad state right now, but he was better than he'd been two months ago and that was what was important.

"No, it's just me," his mother's voice floated into the kitchen, followed by his mother a few minutes later. She smiled sadly as she surveyed the efforts of her son's cleaning expedition, shaking her head.

"I never thought you'd be the one to pick up on my nervous cleaning habits," she mused thoughtfully, picking up his discarded sponge and making her way to the stove.

He sighed, shrugging, "Spent years watching you cook and clean whenever you were upset. Bound to rub off eventually,"

She chuckled, nodding as she cleaned. She bit her lip and sighed, "Derek, you need to get through to Spencer. Something is wrong,"

"What do you mean?" he sounded nervous. Of course something was wrong! He'd known that for two months. Something was very wrong. He'd thought, however, that things were getting better. Until that morning, he'd even managed to convince himself of that totally. But now it felt like things were falling apart in his hands.

Fran sighed, "He's not himself, and I know, I know. He's been through… something terrible, but this isn't the same Spencer I met last Christmas. This…I've never seen him so upset before."

Derek sighed, nodding, "I know, Momma," he said, "But what am I supposed to do? He doesn't want to talk about it, he doesn't want to act like it even happened and I can't blame him for that."

"You've got to do something, Derek," she warned him, "He's not just pushing people way, he's cutting them off. If you don't get him to open up, he's going to cut you off too and then you'll both be alone and I can't even bear to think about that happening to you two. Don't let him do that."

Slowly, Derek's scrubbing stopped and he nodded, "I'll try," he said quietly, "I don't want to lose him, Momma, but he's just not listening to me."

Fran sighed, laying down her sponge and putting her hands on her hips, "Well… then you'll just have to _make _him listen, won't you?"

* * *

**~/.\~**

* * *

The house was quiet when Spencer got back, but it was way too early for either Francine or Derek to have gone to bed yet. It was hardly two o'clock in the afternoon. He was feeling much better, forgetting all about the way he'd snapped at Fran or the confrontation with Derek before he'd left the house. Now, he was flying.

"Derek?" he called, "Are you here?"

"In here, Pretty Boy!"

Spencer felt a tiny smile on his face. It had been a while since Derek had called him that, at least with the fondness that he remembered from before what had happened with Robert. He was actually very close to a real grin when he stepped into the living room. His smile fell a little as he entered, eyes going a bit distant as he took in Derek, standing there, looking anxious. Sitting next to him was someone else. Someone he never thought he'd ever see again.

His voice sounded small when he spoke, barely above a whisper.

"Gideon?"

* * *

**~/.\~**

* * *

**A/N: **Cliffhanger? Yes. Sorry. Had to be done.

Hope you enjoyed! Please review!


	6. I Thought For Sure You'd Gotten Clean

**Title: **Demons Run

**Rating: **A very high T

**Pairings: **Morgan/Reid

**Warnings: **Allusions to previous sexual assault, forced sodomy and torture; possible suicidal thoughts; extreme amounts of angst; Morgan/Reid slash

**A/N: **GAH! This is BEYOND my usual update-lateness. So sorry for taking so long guys. Life has a way of just ruining my writing time, not to mention working on other stories and plot bunnies attacking my muse for things other than this. Please, forgive me!

I swear, I will not abandon this story! I've got so many more fics planned for this series it'd be impossible for me to abandon it! Life is just getting in the way lately.

And thanks so much for the reviews/alerts/favorites adds! You guys are amazing and I appreciate your support! It means a lot to me.

Now, to clear up that evil cliffhanger I left you guys with, huh?

* * *

Chapter Six: I Thought For Sure You'd Gotten Clean

* * *

Reid didn't make any move to get closer to the two men, standing frozen in the entrance to the living room and just staring. He didn't know what to say or how to respond to this. He hadn't seen Gideon in years. Years of silence, no matter how many times he called that old number just hoping to get an answer. He always got nothing. And now there he was, sitting in his living room like he had never gone anywhere, like Reid was just supposed to pretend that the last few years had never happened.

In the end, it was Gideon who broke the silence, standing a bit awkwardly, looking somewhat uncomfortable. "Spencer…" he paused, suddenly unsure of what to say.

"I… It's been a long time,"

Reid's jaw tightened and he nodded. Morgan could see that fire in his eyes, burning hatefully and he knew Reid was nowhere near forgiveness.

"Not my fault," he said, his voice hard and sharp, "I'm not the one who left without saying goodbye."

Gideon opened his mouth to say something else, but Reid cut him off, turning to Morgan, "I can't believe you called him! How did you even know where he was?"

"I didn't," Morgan said quietly, trying to keep his voice even. Reid looked like hell and right now, he was shaking like he was about to explode. "I had Garcia track him down."

Reid bit his lip, nodding. Of course. He knew he could probably have had Garcia do the same for him, but he had eventually decided that Gideon didn't want to talk to him, so why bother? Obviously, Morgan hadn't felt the same.

"Of course," he muttered, "Well, have fun with your reunion. I'm gonna go…somewhere…"

He turned and headed back to the front door, slamming it with all the force he could gather. Morgan flinched as the noise echoed through the house and sighed, closing his eyes. "I told you," he said, turning to face the older man, "He's worse than before."

Gideon was silent for a moment, pressing his lips together and staring at the space that Reid had been standing in moments before. "Where's he going?"

Morgan sighed, "Usually, he just goes out walking. If he's really upset though, he ends up at JJ's. I'll call her later; he needs to cool off."

The former profiler nodded, but there was something in his eyes that made Morgan want to fidget. He hadn't seen Gideon since he left either and it felt incredibly weird to have him standing there in his living room.

Slowly, Gideon sat down, taking the time to finally look around the space. He could almost hear Morgan's questions, buzzing around in the air. Well, less questions, more accusations. Morgan wasn't entirely happy with him either. Not that Gideon blamed him, really. He had always felt he took the cowardly way out and had no real defense for his actions, though he was almost certain Morgan would've been less upset with him if it hadn't hurt Reid the way it had.

"Why did you call me, Morgan?" Gideon asked, turning to look at him, "What happened?"

Morgan took a deep breath and shook his head, "That's a long story," he said, "I think we should wait for Reid to get back before I say anything more."

"Is he using again?"

Morgan froze, his chest tightening at the blunt question. If Gideon thought Reid was using after only a short meeting… But no. Reid said he wasn't and that was good enough for Derek. Morgan hadn't gone into any specifics with Gideon about what was going on, he'd just told him that Reid needed him. To Gideon's credit, that had been enough.

"No, he… he's thought about it though," he sighed heavily and sat down on the couch, putting his head in his hands for a moment. "I don't know what to do; he won't talk to me about it. He won't talk to anyone, so I thought maybe you could…"

"Get him to talk?"

Morgan nodded, "I know he's… not happy about what happened, but he trusted you before."

Gideon's smile was a sad and somewhat rueful one. "I think he trusts you more than he ever trusted me, Morgan," he said quietly. "How long have you two been together?"

Again Morgan was vaguely surprised at how well Gideon picked up on these things, but he just shrugged and smiled faintly. "It'll be a year next month,"

Gideon looked surprised to hear that it had been so long, "You two haven't gotten married yet?"

Morgan rolled his eyes, "You're as bad as my mom," he told him. "No, we haven't. We're taking it slow."

"A year is more than slow," Gideon said, "Especially when you've known each other for five."

"That's what I keep telling him!" Fran said, coming down stairs from her trip to the bathroom. "He just keeps insisting he doesn't want to rush into anything." She gave her son a knowing smile and then frowned, "Where's Spencer?"

"Out," Morgan's voice had gone stiff and he looked down, sighing. "I'm gonna call JJ, let her know Reid's probably on his way there."

* * *

**~/.\~**

* * *

Reid had started out going to JJ's. He had spent quite a lot of time at her place in the past. He wasn't sure why, but JJ always made him feel a bit more at ease. If she wasn't home, he usually ended up at Prentiss' or Garcia's. Of course, that was after he and Morgan had gotten together. Before that, Morgan had always been the one he went to when he needed someone.

Funny, he realized that was actually been the reason they'd ever gotten together in the first place.

Today, however, he was going to go to JJ's, he didn't even really have to think about it. And yet somehow, he ended up in the opposite end of the city. He wasn't sure why or how, but he wasn't entirely unfamiliar with the place and as he walked down a quiet neighborhood, watching children play in their yards and a few mothers sitting out watching them, he felt his heart begin to work in overdrive.

Warring voices in his head demanded to know what he was doing here and urged him forward at the same time. He kept telling himself that he was going to turn around any moment now and go wait for the next bus and go to JJ's. But he just kept walking forward.

He didn't feel out of place, as he had the first time he'd come here, but he somehow hated the way he felt at ease. His pulse was rapid, but despite the jumble of protests in his head, he felt calm. More calm than he'd felt in a long time. A man on a mission, he didn't stop to really take in his surroundings. He'd gotten to know them so well over the months anyway. It had been years, but the neighborhood was burned into his mind anyway.

He found himself knocking on the door to an old, two story white house. Not biting his lip anxiously as he had the first time he'd been there. His blood was cold in his veins in spite of his pounding heart. He was almost surprised to see a familiar face answer the door and even more surprised when the face recognized him.

"Spencer! Man, it's been a while! I thought for sure you'd gotten clean,"

It was a young woman, a bright smile on her face, long red hair. And the greenest eyes Reid had ever seen. She waved him in and led him to the kitchen, talking away like she always had until she sat down at the table.

Reid remembered when he'd first met her, he'd been vaguely reminded of Garcia. It was why he'd always trusted her; she wasn't like a lot of drug dealers, at least not the one's he'd ever come across working. She was bright and bubbly and surprisingly together. Probably because she didn't actually use drugs herself. She always introduced herself as Nikki, but Reid was sure her real name was Lacey.

She never asked questions and he never expected answers. It worked.

Forty minutes later, Reid was leaving the house and the neighborhood, but he felt a bit sick to his stomach as soon as he set foot on the bus.

What was he thinking?

Didn't matter now, he'd already done it. At least half way, anyway.

It had always taken her a few weeks to get her hands on prescription stuff; it was why Reid was no stranger to heroin or cocaine. Today, it had been cocaine. He still felt a bit nauseous as he stepped off the bus near his and Derek's home and ended up waiting for another to take him to JJ's. He tried to ignore the way the small bag felt in his pocket. Burning. His hands were a bit shaky, but he ignored that.

He'd taken two more pills since he'd left the house earlier and hated that they hadn't helped as much as the Dilaudid would have.

He composed his face into a bright smile and hugged JJ as she answered the door.

"Spence!" she grinned brightly, "I was expecting you a while ago; Morgan said you'd be coming."

He shrugged, "I…went for a walk," he said quietly. She seemed to accept that answer and led him into the house, though he didn't miss the way she eyed him anxiously. Clearly, Derek had done more than just tell her he was on his way.

Henry came running up to him and wrapped his arms around his legs, "Uncle Spencer!" he beamed up at him and Reid knelt, hugging his godson and feeling a heavy weight settle into his stomach.

How could he come here with drugs in his pocket and pretend everything was alright? What was wrong with him?

* * *

**~/.\~**

* * *

**A/N: **Ha! That doesn't count as a cliffhanger does it? Right?

Hmm. Anyway. Hope you guys enjoyed and please review!


	7. Anything But That

**Title: **Demons Run

**Rating: **A very high T

**Pairings: **Morgan/Reid

**Warnings: **Allusions to previous sexual assault, forced sodomy and torture; drug use and mentions of drugs; possible suicidal thoughts; extreme amounts of angst; Morgan/Reid slash

**A/N: **So, not *as* late as they have been but still, sadly, later than usual. You guys know I'm not doing this on purpose right? Because I'm not, I swear! And I love you guys so freaking much for the awesome reviews! (Holy shit, over a 100 reviews already! XD) Your support is much appreciated!

And now, onwards we march into the angsty sadness that my muse is trying to drown me in!

* * *

Chapter Seven: Anything But That

* * *

"Are you doing alright, Spence?" JJ asked gently, watching her friend sit on the floor with Henry. He didn't look good. He was paler than he'd been a week ago, his eyes were hollow and distant and she noticed that his hands were shaking a bit. He looked like he was about to throw up.

"Fine," Reid nodded absently, forcing a smile for Henry while trying to teach the little boy a magic trick. His smile brightened into a real smile when Henry laughed and clapped his hands. If there was anything that would make him smile when he felt as badly as he did, it was Henry. Of course, that didn't make the paranoid guilt any easier to deal with and his mind kept wandering back to the drugs in his pocket.

Sometimes, he was panicking because he'd been stupid enough to bring cocaine around Henry, but other times he was just trying to gauge how long he'd have to stay to satisfy both JJ and Derek before he could leave and lock himself in the bathroom and make everything go away for a while, clear his mind of the memories and the unnecessary thoughts that were clogging it up.

"How are things with Morgan?" JJ's voice was gentle, but he could hear the current of worry. The team had all noticed them pulling apart lately. Morgan kept trying to pull them back together, but Reid was fighting it.

It wasn't that he didn't _want _to be close to Derek like they had been, it was that he was terrified of being close to him again. Of making him share that pain with him. Of talking about what had happened, reliving the nightmare that hung over his shoulder. All he wanted was to forget about it and move on, but the team seemed intent on making him live it over and over again with their worried glances and far-too-gentle words.

"Good," he lied, biting his lip and not meeting her eyes. "Better, I guess."

She nodded slowly, "Are you sure, Reid? I mean, you seem kind of… tense. Is something going on?"

"Nothing is going on!" he snapped, glancing up at her sharply. Why did everyone have to keep asking him if he was alright? Wasn't it enough for them that he was still walking around, trying to live his life? Did it really matter that he was happy about it too?

He ignored the pang of guilt at the shocked look on JJ's face and stood, brushing his pants off and closing his eyes, "It's getting late," he said abruptly, "I should be getting back home."

"It's only four thirty –"

"See you later, Henry," Reid ignored her, bending down to hug Henry goodbye before turning and heading down the hall. He heard JJ behind him, but didn't turn around, continuing briskly out the door and down the street.

* * *

**~/.\~**

* * *

Two days later, Derek was certain that Reid was spiraling out of control. He was taking longer showers than before, snapping at everyone and avoiding people at every opportunity. Gideon had tried to talk to him again the day after Spencer had ran out in a huff, but as soon as Spencer had heard his voice on the phone, he hung up.

It seemed the only person he was even remotely kind to in the past two days had been Fran Morgan, so Derek was less worried when he got a call from Hotch telling them they had a case and he had to leave Reid at home alone. Reid had been working again, but had taken sick leave for the first time in… ever. That was something else that made Derek nervous.

Reid looked sick, that was for sure, but he couldn't help the nagging suspicion that it was something other than the flu that was making Spencer ill. He didn't think about the alternatives because he didn't want to face them, but he told his mother to keep an eye on him and hoped he wouldn't be gone long. They were just going to Richmond, Virginia so at least he wasn't leaving the state, but he hated leaving his mother and Reid alone when Reid was behaving the way he was.

"He'll be fine," Fran assured him that morning before he left. "A couple of days alone with me and trust me, your boyfriend will be good as new."

There was a bright twinkle in her eyes, but Morgan wasn't so sure she was right. Maybe Spencer would never be the same person again. Maybe it was time to let go of that hope and realize that he was damaged beyond repair. It was the most painful thought he'd ever had and he shoved it out of his mind, hugging his mom goodbye and feeling his heart sink when he looked toward the stairs and realized that Spencer still hadn't come to say goodbye to him.

"I'll call you tonight," he assured her before he left. Francine just nodded and smile, watching her son leave with an anxious look on her face.

As soon as she heard the car engine start she headed upstairs and to the bedroom that she hadn't seen since her arrival two days ago. Tentatively, she knocked on the door and waited a moment.

"Spencer? Are you up? Derek just left,"

She got no response and sighed, pushing the door open and frowning when she saw the bedroom empty. She frowned around the room and spotted the small beam of light coming from under the bathroom door. Moving toward it, she tapped on it a few times.

"Spencer? You in there, sweetie?"

After a short pause, she heard his voice through the bathroom door, "Yes, sorry, I'm about to take a shower,"

She nodded, having gotten used to his frequent showers over the past couple of days. Of course, if she were being honest, she didn't believe he was actually taking a shower every time he locked himself in the bathroom. What he was doing, she couldn't say, but she suspected that Derek had his ideas and just didn't want to think about them,

"Alright. Derek's gone,"

"Okay,"

She sighed, "He said he'd call later,"

"Sure,"

"Are you sure you're alright?"

"I'm _fine!_" Spencer's voice had gone harsh again, like it had done many times lately and Fran shook her head sadly at the door, wishing there was something she could do or say to get through to the sweet young man she knew was still somewhere inside of him.

"Okay, I'll be downstairs if you need me,"

* * *

**~/.\~**

* * *

The team arrived in Richmond in the late morning. Morgan and Prentiss headed straight to the morgue while Rossi and JJ went to the last dumpsite and Hotch headed to the police station. Morgan continued checking his phone the entire way there, not sure what he was expecting to find, but nervous anyway.

"So," Prentiss glanced over at him, "You and Reid having problems?"

He jerked his head sharply in her direction and frowned, "What are you talking about?"

"You've looked at your phone twenty times in the past half hour," she said, frowning at him, "Reid isn't here. You haven't slept and I hear you called Gideon two days ago."

Morgan sighed and shook his head. Garcia must've talked to her. Not that he really blamed her, he was sure she'd only said anything because she was worried.

"It's nothing, Prentiss, drop it,"

She pressed her lips together, "If it's nothing, why do you look like hell?"

"I've had a bad few days, that's all," he said stiffly, "Look, it's none of your business anyway, ok? So leave it alone. I can handle it."

She sighed, "Alright, fine. But anytime you wanna talk about it, I'm willing to listen. Reid's my friend too, you know, and we're all worried about him,"

"I know you are," Morgan's voice softened, "But I just… it's complicated."

"How complicated?" Prentiss frowned, watching her partner carefully, noticing more than just bags from sleepless nights. Worry lines, anxious glances, a defeated hunch in his shoulders. Whatever was going on, it was serious, whether Morgan wanted to admit it or not.

"It's just… He's been acting weird," he said quietly, "Snapping at everyone, hiding in the bathroom. Disappearing for hours… I get him being pissed at Gideon, I even get him not wanting to talk to me right now, but… I don't know."

Prentiss spoke slowly, her words careful and deliberate, "…You don't think he's using again?"

"No!" Morgan said a little too quickly. He took a deep breath and shook his head, "It's not that, Emily. It's not."

"Why are you so sure?"

"Because I asked him," he said, "He told me he wasn't using."

Prentiss bit her lip and shook her head, "Right, because we both know how trustworthy the words of an addict are."

Morgan glared at her venomously, "Don't talk about him like that! He's not an addict, he's clean!"

"Maybe he's clean, maybe he isn't, but Derek, he is an addict and you can't forget that. I not saying that it makes him a bad person, but you and I both know that when it comes to drugs, he can't be trusted. No matter how good his intentions are, if he slips, he's gonna crash. You can't just let yourself be blind to that,"

Morgan shook his head, "No," he said, his voice quieter now, "It's not that. It can be anything else in the world, anything at all. Anything but that."

* * *

**~/.\~**

* * *

Spencer sat against the bathroom door, in the same position he'd been in two days ago when he'd found the pills. The bottle was half empty now, shoved back to the far corner of the medicine cabinet. They weren't anywhere near as helpful as the Dilaudid had been and somewhere in his mind he knew taking more wouldn't help, but he kept them anyway. Just in case he needed them again.

Instead, he held a syringe in his hand and had tied a belt around his arm to use a tourniquet, the sleeve of his shirt rolled up. Memories flashed through his mind, none of them pleasant, of all the times he'd done the same exact thing before. Of course, it wasn't Dilaudid in the syringe this time, it was cocaine, but that would work better than the pills anyway.

He had waited several minutes after Fran went back downstairs before risking getting the needle ready and now his hands were shaking and he wasn't even sure why. He felt a little bit sick, hating himself for doing this, but needing to escape, to make everything just disappear for a little while. Was that really asking so much?

In a moment, none of that mattered anymore anyway. He pressed the needle against his arm, taking a slow breath and deftly guided it in, letting his eyes fall closed as he pushed the plunger and slipped away.

* * *

**~/.\~**

* * *

Fran looked toward the stairs every few moments, wondering what was keeping Spencer so long. It had been nearly an hour since he'd said he was taking a shower and she'd yet to hear the shower or see him. Something was very wrong, she knew it was.

She'd made breakfast, but only enough for herself. Spencer hadn't been eating or in the mood to be around other people since she'd been there so she decided not to waste anything this time. She'd cook him something when he finally decided to come downstairs. And if he wasn't downstairs in an hour, she was going to break down that bathroom door and drag him down here. Enough was enough, and as much as she understood that he was in pain, she was sick of seeing her son and his lover skirting around the edges of their problems. It was about time both of them realized that they couldn't avoid it forever.

Someone needed to rip that bandage off and if they wouldn't do it, she would.

She jumped a bit when she heard the phone ring and answered it quickly, expecting it to be Derek.

"Hello?"

"_Mrs. Morgan?" _It took her a moment to place to voice, but she recognized it as Gideon, the man who'd been there a couple of days ago.

"Yes, this is Gideon, right?"

_"Yes, is your son there?"_

She glanced toward the stairs again out of habit, "No, he was called away on a case,"

_"What about Spencer?"_

"…He… was sick," she spoke hesitantly, not convinced in the least the Reid was actually sick.

_"Sick?"_

From the sound of his voice, Gideon wasn't all that convinced either, but she again suspected that he, like Derek, knew what the alternative was. She understood Derek not wanting to betray Spencer's privacy, but she wished someone would tell her what was going on because Spencer needed help and he wasn't going to get it if everyone pretended he was fine.

_"How sick?"_

"I…" she sighed, "Can I be honest with you?"

_"Absolutely,"_

"I don't think he is sick," she said, "I don't know what _is _going on, but the Spencer that's upstairs right now is not the same Spencer that Derek introduced us to. Now, am I right in thinking that you care about him?"

_"Like my own son," _Gideon's voice was a bit muffle and she nodded, frowning a bit. She remembered how Spencer had reacted to seeing Gideon two days ago, and how he'd reacted to his phone call the day after. But she had to do something and if Derek thought this man could get through to him somehow, then damn it, she was going to let him try.

"He needs someone," she said, "I don't know what's going on, but you do and whatever it is, he needs help soon. I'm sick of watching them fall apart in front of me."

There was a pause as Gideon debated about what to do. He knew Reid would be less than pleased to see him, but if he was right about what was going on, he had to at least try to help him didn't he?

_"I'll be there in twenty minutes,"_

* * *

**~/.\~**

* * *

**A/N: **Hmm, so a bit longer chapter. Not much, but a bit. Anyway, hopefully you enjoyed it! Not too sure how I feel about it at the moment, but *shrugs*

Please review!


	8. I Know You Don't Want To Hear This

**Title: **Demons Run

**Rating: **A very high T

**Pairings: **Morgan/Reid

**Warnings: **Allusions to previous sexual assault, forced sodomy and torture; drug use and mentions of drugs; possible suicidal thoughts; extreme amounts of angst; Morgan/Reid slash

**A/N: **Thanks so much for all the lovely reviews guys! Your support and encouragement keep me motivated! I'm glad you're still enjoying the story! And don't worry; I know things are bad, but I promise to make them better soon! It's always darkest before the dawn and all that BS. Anyway, thanks for the reviews! I really appreciate them!

Hope you enjoy the chapter! Please review!

* * *

Chapter Eight: I Know You Don't Want To Hear This

* * *

True to his word, Gideon showed up at the house, an anxious look on his face. "Francine," he nodded his greeting to her and she led him into the living room, her eyes going back to the stairs. She'd tried to get Spencer to come out of the bathroom, but he hadn't budged since she'd called Gideon. She decided that it was probably best if she didn't tell him that the man was coming, but no matter what else she tried, he wouldn't come down.

"He's upstairs," she said quietly, leading the way to the Master Bathroom. "I haven't been able to get him to come out in a couple of hours."

The door was still closed and locked when they got there and Francine tapped on it gently, "Spencer? Spencer are you still in there? There's someone here who wants to see you. Spencer?"

They got no response and Fran sighed heavily, looking at Gideon apologetically, "I'm sorry. I really just… don't know what's wrong,"

"May I?" he asked gently, moving to the door and knocking on it a bit harder. "Spencer? Reid? It's Gideon. I know you don't want to talk to me, and I understand that, but there are a lot of people who are worried about you…"

He paused, pressing his ear against the door. He couldn't hear much of anything coming from inside, not even Spencer's breathing. "Stand back," he said, glancing back at Fran. "Something's wrong."

It took him several minutes of fiddling with the lock to shove the door open, meeting the resistance of Reid's limp body.

"Oh my God!" Fran's hands went to her mouth when she saw the young man lying, unconscious and pale on the bathroom floor. There was a discarded needle at his side and a tourniquet still wrapped tightly around his arm.

Gideon dropped to his knees and pressed his fingers against Reid's neck, "He's alive," he said quickly, trying to keep his voice steady. "Call an ambulance…"

* * *

**~/.\~**

* * *

"Something you want to talk about?" the sound of Hotch's voice made Morgan jumped and his head jerked back to stare at his boss. He'd been giving the evidence board a brooding glare for the past ten minutes without realizing it.

Swallowing quickly, he looked away and shook his head. "It's nothing, Hotch,"

"So what did the board do to make you so angry?"

Morgan rolled his eyes, "Hotch, I know what you're gonna say. Don't. I'm fine, Reid's fine, we're all… fine,"

Hotch sighed and shook his head, "I'm not going to tell you what to do, Derek, but I will tell you that I can take one look at you and see what's happening. I've been divorced; I know what it looks like when a relationship starts to crumble,"

Tightening his jaw, Morgan pointedly continued glaring at the board, "My relationship isn't falling apart, Hotch," he said tersely, "Reid and I are working it out."

Hotch nodded thoughtfully, his face carefully unemotional as he stared down at his colleague. "That's good. Don't let it cloud your judgment here, though, Morgan. If there's something wrong and you need to be home with him, go. If there isn't, focus on the case," he paused, "He contacted the media. We're setting up a press conference now. Twenty minutes. Stay or go."

Morgan closed his eyes and clenched his fists when Hotch walked away. He hadn't been focused, he knew that. They'd hardly been here an entire morning and into the early afternoon, and he honestly couldn't even remember what the last victim's name was. All he could think about was Reid and the fact that he hadn't come down to say goodbye, or even really spoken to him at all before he left. He knew something was very wrong; he just didn't want to face what that meant.

He tugged his phone off his belt and started to call the house, just to check in and find out if everything was alright. He didn't get the chance to hit the numbers before his phone started ringing in his hand and his brow furrowed a bit as he saw Gideon's name on the caller ID.

"Gideon?"

_"Morgan, it's Reid," _Gideon's voice was like he had never heard it before. Frantic and quick breathed, like every word was costing him infinitely precious time. Morgan was immediately on alert.

"Reid? What happened? Is he okay?"

_"No. He's in an ambulance, on his way to the hospital,"_

"Hospital?" Morgan's hand tightened around the cellphone and he felt his stomach lurch. "Why is he going to the hospital?"

This time there was a pause, _"I know you don't want to hear this," _he said, _"But it looks like an overdose."_

"An overdose of what?" Morgan snapped, eyes wide with fury. This wasn't a drug overdose. Not Reid. Not now. He couldn't accept that. There was absolutely no way that Reid had OD'd on anything. He'd said he was clean, hadn't he?

_"Cocaine,"_

* * *

**~/.\~**

* * *

Gideon and Fran weren't allowed to see Reid while the Doctor's worked and were left in the waiting room of the ER. Gideon refused to sit down, thinking over and over how many different ways he could've changed this. How he could have prevented this from ever happening.

Francine had been quiet for over an hour, sitting in the stiff chair, eyes forward, hands balled into fists in her lap. But finally, she couldn't take it anymore.

"What's going on?" she demanded.

Gideon paused his slow pacing and turned to stare at the woman, a look of confusion passing over his face for just a second. "What do you mean?"

Fran's eyes flashed and Gideon would've smiled at the way they lit up dangerously except that he was trying not to bend under the crushing weight of guilt and grief.

"You know damn well what I mean," she said harshly, "My kids grew up in a bad neighborhood in Chicago, I've seen drug use on street corners and passed drug dealers on the way to work. I know what I saw in that bathroom today and I want to know what the hell Spencer was doing using drugs."

The former profiler was silent for a beat before sighing, "Trying to forget," he said quietly. He thought back to all those years ago, right after the incident with Hankle in Georgia. The severe personality change, the weight loss, the pale skin, the bags under his eyes. Gideon had known what was going on back then. But he'd also witnessed the beginning of the recovery. He had thought, hoped, that that was behind Reid.

But now it seemed that whatever had happened, since Morgan hadn't given him and details, in that cabin in the woods, had scarred his protégé too deep for normal repair to work.

"With drugs?"

He could hear the incredulous air in Fran's voice. No one ever seemed to suspect _Reid _of being an addict. He couldn't blame them. He was the last person Gideon would've suspected too if he hadn't been there to see the signs flashing like neon lights over his head.

"He hasn't had an easy life," Gideon said quietly, dismissing the subject altogether. He could make excuses now, but he didn't think he'd be able to think rationally once they were allowed to see Spencer. He just hoped Derek would be here by then. He didn't want to face the younger man alone.

* * *

**~/.\~**

* * *

It took Morgan several long moments to comprehend what Gideon had just told him. He seemed frozen on the spot, unable to move. He hadn't even replied, he just snapped the phone shut and didn't care if Gideon tried to call him back or not.

"Morgan," JJ popped her head in the room, "Press Conference is starting. We're waiting."

He blinked and turned to face her, shaking his head. "I'm not gonna be there. Tell Hotch something came up, alright? I'll call and explain when I know more."

"Wha-" JJ didn't even get the chance to finish the word as Morgan brushed passed her quickly, doing everything in his power not to take off at a full sprint. He got a cab back to the hotel, grabbed his bags and called Garcia, asking her to get him the next available flight home.

She'd wanted reasons, but he cut her off and said he couldn't talk about it at the moment. His flight didn't leave for another hour but he went to the airport anyway and waited. He went over every detail of the last few days, certain of one thing: if Spencer was using again, he hadn't been using for very long. He hadn't begun to suspect anything until three days ago and there was no way Reid had hidden it from him for more than a week at the most.

That was, at least, something good. He hadn't been using long and maybe this overdose would be enough to scare him into rehab. If it wasn't, Morgan would drag his ass there anyway because he wasn't about to lose Spencer because of some goddamn drug.

He was a nervous wreck by the time his flight was called and he fidgeted in the uncomfortable seats, trying not to think too hard about anything. Reid would be fine. He had to be. The hospital would fix him up and they'd get him clean and everything would be fine. The only other alternative scared the shit out of him and he wasn't about to consider losing Spencer.

* * *

**~/.\~**

* * *

**A/N: **I know, I know. That chapter was a cruel and probably made you guys want to punch me. Sorry. But I do have good news: Reid's finally hit rock bottom here. The only place he can go is up and I know it might seem unbelievable, but that's where things are about to start going. Woohoo! Let the REAL healing begin!

Hope you enjoyed! Please review!


	9. We'll Fix This

**Title: **Demons Run

**Rating: **A very high T

**Pairings: **Morgan/Reid

**Warnings: **Allusions to previous sexual assault, forced sodomy and torture; drug use and mentions of drugs; possible suicidal thoughts; extreme amounts of angst; Morgan/Reid slash

**A/N: **Once more, I apologize for my later-than-usual updates. I know you guys must be getting annoyed, but I'm doing the best I can and you'll just have to bear with me for a little while. I hate making you wait, but that's just how life has decided things are going for the moment.

So, huge thanks to all the awesome reviews! I'm glad you guys are still interested in the story and I appreciate your support and comments! They mean the world to me guys! Even after all this time I still get that excited grin whenever I see a review in my inbox XD

Hope you enjoy the chapter!

Please review!

* * *

Chapter Nine: We'll Fix This

* * *

Garcia was waiting for Derek at the airport when his plane landed a couple of hours later. She watched him anxiously as he climbed into the back of the cab beside her.

"Are you alright?" she asked nervously, not liking the way his eyes shifted and his knuckles stretched over the cell phone he was gripping tightly in his hands. Morgan didn't respond at first, just grunting and staring out the window, foot tapping restlessly against the floor of the cab.

"Derek? Is everything ok? What's going on?" Garcia repeated, taking Derek's fidgeting hand and gripping it tight in her own.

He turned to look at her slowly and shook his head to clear the thoughts, "It's fine, Baby Girl. Everything's okay? Listen, you should get back to work, alright? The team needs your magic fingers to help them out. I'll call you later tonight and explain everything."

Garcia looked reluctant to go anywhere without any answers, but she could see that Morgan was freaked and trying not to show it, so she nodded slowly. "You'd better call me," she warned him, "If I don't hear from you by ten I swear I will make you wish you were never born."

That brought a small smile to Derek's face and he kissed her quickly on the cheek before she climbed out of the cab at the FBI headquarters, "I'll call, Princess. Don't worry."

* * *

**~/.\~**

* * *

Gideon and Fran were sitting in Reid's room, finally. The doctors had been less than enthusiastic about allowing visitors, but they'd stabilized Spencer's erratic heartbeat and were confident that he'd be breathing on his own shortly.

He was unconscious at the moment, eyes rimmed with dark, heavy bags. Face gaunt and drawn, skin sallow and covered in a thin sheen of sweat. Fran was holding his hand, gripping his fingers between her own and whispering that she was sure everything would work out and that Derek would be there soon. Gideon remained silent, watching the younger man but not daring to touch him or even to speak.

He didn't know what he'd say if he'd tried to talk anyway. What was he supposed to say? I'm sorry for abandoning you? I'm sorry your life is so screwed up? What good were apologies now? He'd already failed Spencer, he wasn't about to attempt amendments with empty words that could do nothing to ease the burden Reid was carrying on his shoulders.

"Derek should be here soon," Fran said, glancing over at the older man. "His flight came in just a few minutes ago."

Gideon didn't respond, just nodding faintly, his eyes intently on Reid.

"You… used to work with Derek, didn't you?"

"Yes," Gideon's voice was soft and barely above a whisper. "It was several years ago."

She watched him, but Gideon still never looked away from Spencer's prone body. "You and Spencer were close?"

"In a way," he nodded, "I first met him when he was still in the Academy. Brightest mind I'd ever seen and all he wanted was to be in the BAU. He was only twenty-two, but I just… felt like he had the potential to be a great agent, so I got him in."

Fran smiled, watching Gideon's face light up with genuine warmth as he spoke about Spencer.

"Must've been hard on him when you retired,"

Gideon stiffed and slowly forced himself to nod once more. "Things got… difficult. The job gets to people. We look into the darkest parts of the human mind and try to unravel it. I just got to a point where I… wasn't strong enough to handle it and I left."

"Derek used to talk about you," Fran said softly. "About all the team members. Then a few years ago he just stopped mentioning you. I assumed you'd… well, died."

Gideon laughed, "Close enough," he admitted. "I couldn't face them, when I left. I just left."

"Not even a goodbye?"

"No," Gideon's eyes shot to the floor for a moment and he pressed his lips together, "Not even to say goodbye. I shouldn't have left, not that way. Spencer… he was going through a lot at the time and I'm sure I didn't make it any easier on him, but I thought that… well, he had the rest of the team to look out for him."

"If you give him enough time," Fran said, "I'm sure he'll forgive you. Spencer's one of the… kindest people I've ever met."

"I'm not sure I want him to forgive me,"

* * *

**~/.\~**

* * *

Derek practically ran down the hall to Spencer's room as he stepped out of the elevator. He nearly knocked a nurse down in the hall and only paused for a second to apologize before making a sharp turn and freezing as he entered the hospital room.

Gideon was standing across from the bed, arms over his chest, eyes on Reid. His mother was sitting as close as she could to Spencer, holding his hand and gently stroking his hair.

Spencer himself was still out, apparently. He looked like hell. Pale and thin and near death. How had he missed this? How had he not seen the signs any sooner? The past few days had been replaying in his mind since he'd gotten on the plane. It wasn't that he hadn't seen any of the warnings; he'd ignored them because he didn't want to accept the reality of the situation.

"Derek! Thank God!" Fran stood from her seat and rushed around the bed to hug her son, relief flooding her.

Derek only had eyes for Spencer, barely returning his mother's embrace at all. "How is he?"

"He's stable," Gideon answered. "His doctor said he'd be awake any time now."

"So he hasn't woken up yet?"

"Not yet," Fran sighed, taking her seat again and eyeing Reid warily.

Derek's knees felt weak and he finally allowed himself to fall into an empty chair near the bed, shaking his head as he stared at his lover. "What happened?"

"He wouldn't come out of the bathroom," Fran explained, "I called Gideon to try and talk to him, but… then we found him passed out on the floor. There was a needle…"

"We'll fix this," he said, "I'll make this better again, we aren't going back down this road." Derek's tone was desperate and hard. There was no way he was going to watch while Spencer slowly killed himself.

"Derek…" Gideon spoke carefully, "To help him, he's got to want help."

"I know," Morgan said quietly, "And he does. He does want help, Gideon. This is my fault; if I hadn't been so busy dealing with all the shit in my head I'd have noticed how broken he was sooner. This wouldn't even be happening."

"Oh, Baby, you can't blame yourself –"

"Yes I can, Momma," Morgan cut her off, "He's been pulling away ever since we got out of the hospital. I should've pulled him back."

* * *

**~/.\~**

* * *

It was another half hour before Spencer's eyes finally started to flutter open and Derek was immediately by his side, still a bit too scared to touch him, but desperate to see him awake again.

The young agent blinked a few times and grimaced against the light, feeling weak and stiff and sore. His entire body felt like he'd been put through a cement tumbler. The first person he was Derek and he took a slow breath.

"W-Where am I?"

"The hospital," Derek's voice was harsher than he'd intended and Reid quickly looked away. The last few hours of consciousness he'd had weren't clear at all, but he did remember that Derek was supposed to be on a case.

"What happened?"

"I should be asking you that question, Spencer," Derek said. "You're lucky Momma and Gideon found you when they did. You could've killed yourself!"

He couldn't think of anything to say that would make sense of what he'd done. He'd known it was wrong, dangerous, but he'd done it anyway. He had just wanted to make the pain go away and it seemed like it was making things worse.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

"Sorry? Spencer…" Derek stopped and shut his eyes, taking a slow, deep breath "I know. I'm sorry too."

He reached out and gently took Spencer's hand into his own, forcing a small smile. He wanted to scream and yell and tell him how stupid he'd been, but now wasn't the time for that. Right now he had to make sure that Spencer understood that he was here to help and he sure as hell wasn't going away any time soon.

"You're sorry? …What for? I –"

"Everything," Derek said quietly. "Just everything that's happened in the last couple of months. We've got a lot of work to do to set this right."

Reid bit his lip, "I should've told you," he said, "The second I started thinking about using again, I should've. But I couldn't and it's just… Derek, I can't fight this. I thought…" he trailed off and shook his head. "I don't even know if I wanted to stop.

"It makes it feel better,"

"I know," Morgan said quietly. "But this is gonna kill you if you don't stop. Give me a month? Just one month. Please?"

Spencer finally looked Derek in the eye and squeezed his hand, "Okay,"

* * *

**~/.\~**

* * *

**A/N: **Don't know how I feel about this chapter. *sigh* Had to force most of it out. I know it's probably a bit unlikely that Reid would just so easily accept help, even after all that's happened, but that's just how I see things happening in my head.

Hope you enjoyed! Let the healing begin!

Please review!


	10. I Love You

**Title: **Demons Run

**Rating: **A very high T

**Pairings: **Morgan/Reid

**Warnings: **Allusions to previous sexual assault, forced sodomy and torture; drug use and mentions of drugs; possible suicidal thoughts; extreme amounts of angst; Morgan/Reid slash

**A/N: **THANKS SO MUCH to all the reviewers! You guys have no idea how much your feedback means to me. Sorry for the delay, once more. As I keep saying, life has just been insanely hectic for me at the moment and this is my last month of summer break before fall semester starts up. I'm going to try to get this finished before September or at least by September.

That being said, I don't know how much longer the story will be, but I'm thinking it's almost finished.

Hope you're enjoying things so far and once again, thank you for the reviews! I really appreciate your support!

Please review!

* * *

Chapter Ten: I Love You

* * *

It was two days before the doctors released Spencer from the hospital. The team was still away on the case and Morgan had avoided really talking to any of them about what was happening. He dreaded the conversation with Hotch when the team did get back. Garcia and Gideon had been to visit Spencer in the hospital, along with Fran, who was by his side nearly as often as Morgan was.

Reid didn't say much, but Garcia had had plenty to say when she got there and most of it wasn't pleasant.

"I cannot believe you did something so stupid, Reid!" she had snapped at him. "You should've come to us! You know we're your family; we'd do anything to help you! Drugs! Again! Don't you even remember what happened before? Somewhere in that big brain of yours I know you know that this wrong!"

"Baby Girl," Morgan put a hand on her shoulder and shook his head, eyes locked on Spencer. Reid wasn't looking at either of them, staring out the fogged up window with tears glistening in his eyes. He knew every word Garcia said was true, which was why he didn't say anything to defend himself.

Garcia pressed her lips together and stared at Reid, her eyes watery too. She took a breath and reached out, patting Reid's hand and gripping it tight.

"Sorry," she said, her voice tight. "I know what you've been going through is tough and I have no idea how you're still holding it together but… I swear to _God_, if you ever do something so stupid again, I will make you suffer, do you understand? I will not watch you destroy yourself, Spencer. I won't. And neither will the rest of us. Got it?"

Spencer still didn't look up at them, but he nodded stiffly and Garcia squeezed his hand tightly, forcing a watery smile to her lips.

"Good."

* * *

**~/.\~**

* * *

"I hate leaving you two now," Fran said early the morning Reid got home from the hospital.

"Don't worry about it, Momma," Derek smiled at her and held her bag in one hand. The cab was waiting outside to take her to the airport. They would've driven her themselves, but Fran insisted that getting Reid help was more important.

"We're gonna be fine, alright? Call me when you get home. I'll keep you posted."

Fran smiled and leaned forward to kiss her son on the cheek, "You'd better,"

There was a quiet creek behind them and they turned to see Reid standing there, still pale and awkwardly holding his arms over his chest. He was shaking a bit and stood a good few feet back. Francine dropped her arms from around Derek and walked over to Spencer, still smiling and a bit misty eyed as she stopped right in front of him, looking up into his eyes for a long minute.

"You take care of yourself," she said quietly, hugging him and pulling back. "And I will see you both this Thanksgiving, is that clear?"

Reid forced himself to smile and nodded, "I'll be there," he promised.

"See that you are," she smiled and stood on her toes to kiss him lightly on the cheek, her eyes sparkling a bit. "I want to be hearing wedding plans by then."

That got a small, if sad, laugh out of him and she smiled brighter. "Look out for each other,"

"You know we will," Derek promised.

He helped her carry her bags to the cab and came back in a few minutes later, his calm façade slipping away as he shut the front door and eyed Spencer worriedly. "You packed?" he asked, his voice sounding strained to his own ears.

The past couple of days hadn't exactly been easy for him, watching Spencer in the hospital, doubts and uncertainties plaguing him. He didn't know if Reid would go through with the agreement, if he would get better. If he would even be the same Spencer as he was before ever again.

"Yeah," Spencer said quietly. They hadn't talked much outside of discussing what to do about Reid's "little problem".

Morgan nodded, "Good. Gideon's on his way. We'll be leaving in about half an hour."

* * *

**~/.\~**

* * *

The facility was stark and white, clinically clean in the most severe way. Spencer's long fingers held his one bag tightly, the knuckles white around the strap as he stood outside the door with Morgan and Gideon on either side of him.

"You're gonna be fine, Spencer," Derek promised him. "This is for your own good."

"I know," Reid's voice still shook a bit, but he nodded and pushed the doors open, walking inside. The light dancing off the white words on the glass doors.

Sunny Meadows Regional Rehabilitation Center.

Gideon and Morgan followed him in and Gideon put a hand on Spencer's shoulder, squeezing gently. Spencer didn't turn to look at him or even really acknowledge the hand at all, but it was step up from how he'd been two days ago when he would jerk away from just the slightest touch. Their relationship was far from fixed, but at least he wasn't trying to shove him out any longer.

"I'll call when I can," Derek promised. "And visit."

Reid just nodded, his eyes fixed on the reception desk, heart hammering in his chest. He wanted more than anything to turn and bolt, but Derek standing next to him is what stopped him. He couldn't disappoint him, not again. Not after all the hell they'd been through together. They were going to fix this. He had to at least try.

"I love you, Spencer," Morgan said quietly, watching Reid's face with anxious eyes. He could see how antsy he was, how badly he wanted to turn tail and run. And he felt a small bit of pride at the fact that he didn't.

"I love you, too,"

Something clicked in Derek's chest then, hearing those words again, the sincerity of them, for the first time in what felt like a lifetime. Spencer started to step away from them and toward the desk, but Derek pulled him back quickly, spinning him around. Their lips met in the first actual kiss they'd shared in almost three months and for that one brief second it was like nothing had changed and everything was exactly the way it had been before.

Then it was over. And Spencer smiled softly, a bit more confident about this endeavor now. He whispered a quiet goodbye and turned toward the desk again, squaring his shoulders in determination and taking one last deep breath before walking right up to the reception desk and checking in.

* * *

**~/.\~**

* * *

**A/N: **Hmm. I gotta say, I'm actually pretty proud of this chapter. Not sure why. Sad to see Fran leave, but don't worry. She'll back in other fics. I'm not anywhere near finished with this series. And I'm sure Gideon will be back too.

So, progress and happiness. You guys should count yourself lucky, 'cos the mood I'm in right now? I was tempted to just murder everyone and call it that. Nothing to do with the story, of course, but Supernatural tends to rip out my feelings every time I watch a season finale… Seriously, it was hard to write anything resembling happy.

Anyway, hope you enjoyed the chapter! Please don't forget to review! The end is nearing and I think I'm getting ready to put Reid and Morgan back together.


	11. Tonight Is About You and Me

**Title: **Demons Run

**Rating: **A very high T

**Pairings: **Morgan/Reid

**Warnings: **Allusions to previous sexual assault, forced sodomy and torture; drug use and mentions of drugs; possible suicidal thoughts; extreme amounts of angst; Morgan/Reid slash

**A/N: **Okay, to start off, huge thanks to everyone who has reviewed this story! You guys seriously are amazing! And I'd like to say thank you to those of you (which, I believe is MOST of you) who have read this entire series so far. It really amazes me that people are so interested in this insanity sometimes.

Anyway, I also want to apologize for the delay in updating. The fall semester starts the 20th of this month (GAH, three days from today!) and I've been extremely busy with getting prepared for that, plus my brother is a senior in High School this year and my sister is going to 7th grade and I've had to help them (mostly my sister) as well. Forgive me, life is just really hectic right now and probably going to remain so with the new semester starting.

Also, when I finally sat down to start this chapter I didn't expect it to be the last for this story, but that's how it turned out anyway, so, yes, this is the end of "Demons Run". I started out as angsty as I could and now I'm finishing with as much fluff as my sadistic little muse can muster.

So, thanks for reading and hope you enjoy the final chapter of "Demons Run"! Please don't forget to review!

* * *

Chapter Eleven: Tonight Is About You and Me

* * *

Spencer stared around the plain room, feeling a bit anxious as he stood over the bed. It had been a month since he'd checked himself into the rehab center. A month that had started out about as awful as it possibly could. He couldn't really say that he would miss the place, but he still felt an odd tugging in his chest like he wasn't quite sure that he was ready to leave. It hadn't been easy, but the support here had been extremely helpful.

For the first week, he had been alone, at least as far as friends went. No one had visited, though Derek had called twice that week. He had felt alone, that was for sure. Derek had gone back to join the team on their case and Reid could only imagine how Hotch had taken the news that he was in a drug rehab center. Derek had assured him that it gone well and Hotch was supportive, but Spencer hadn't been sure what to believe.

When the team got back from the case, they began visiting him on their days off – Derek the most often, of course. Hotch hadn't seemed upset with him the first time he'd come, but he had seemed… disappointed. Not that Spencer blamed him. He was disappointed in himself. JJ and Prentiss didn't even bring up the issue, both of them distracting him with whatever news they could – JJ talked about Henry and brought photos of his godson to show him; Prentiss talked about her niece Bailey and mentioned that maybe on her next visit he and Derek could come hang out.

Garcia had hardly been able to keep herself composed, talking non-stop about whatever she could think of. What was going on with the team, what was going on in her life. She told him she was proud of him, for doing this, but that he had better never, ever put her through this again. Reid came to look forward to the team's visits more and more.

Rossi had even visited a couple of times, he didn't stay long, but he talked with Spencer about his newest book and even consults he was working on, or the case they'd finished. It was strange how easily Spencer was able to forget where he was whenever Rossi visited.

And then there were Gideon's visits.

The first time the former profiler had visited Spencer, he had been less than thrilled to see the older man. It was barely two weeks into his stay and seeing Gideon had only made him angry. But he hadn't asked him to leave, doing his best to remember that Gideon had helped, that he must care, somewhere.

It wasn't easy for Reid to forget how hurt he'd been after Gideon had abandoned the team, but three more visits from him and he found himself more and more comfortable around his former mentor. Gideon had done most of the talking – a strange change in their former dynamic – and then, on the fourth visit, Reid had finally begun to let him back in. Just a little bit. They played a couple of games of chess, but it felt so strange and Gideon could tell things weren't the same. Would likely never _be _the same.

Spencer had been a kid, really, when he'd left the team, and it seemed that over the years he had become more and more confident with himself. Gideon could remember a time when Reid's budding confidence could have been because of him, but that was years ago and every new change in the young man had nothing to do with Gideon. Or, perhaps, everything to do with his leaving.

It was Derek's visits, though, that Spencer looked forward to the most. They were awkward, at first, strained and uncomfortable. The first visit had started out as if they were strangers, stiff small talk, Derek mentioning the team and asking Spencer how he was doing.

Then Derek had exploded. Really, really exploded. Spencer had felt it coming, the tension between them almost visible in the air, the strain pull Derek's nerves taut until they finally snapped.

"How could you do this, Spencer? To me? To yourself? Are you really that stupid? You could've talked to me? Didn't you trust me? Do you have any idea how much it kills me to see you here?"

Spencer hadn't replied, shifting awkwardly in his seat and letting Derek yell. Every word was like a knife in his heart, but he didn't try to interrupt him, just listening. He deserved this, he knew. He'd messed up and Derek had every right to be pissed, had every right scream and yell. Hell, as far as Spencer was concerned, Derek was well within his rights to just drop everything and leave him.

But he didn't.

He yelled, he swore, he cried and Spencer's heart just broke piece by piece and then he left, leaving both of them shaken.

Spencer had half expected to hear from him the next day saying that they were finished, but instead Derek was gone for three days of absolutely agony for Spencer. When he finally showed up, he looked even worse than Reid felt. Ragged, bleary-eyed and, if Spencer's observations were correct, recovering from a sleepless night and a hangover.

He hadn't spoken at first, sitting across from his lover and just staring. Just as Reid decided that he should say _something _to break the silence, Derek had spoken.

"I'm sorry," his words had been quiet and rough, but they caught Reid by surprise.

"Sorry for what? You didn't do anything!"

Derek shook his head, a bitter smile on his face. "That's the whole point, Spencer. I didn't do a goddamn thing, even when I knew something was wrong. I wanted you to be okay so badly that I ignored every warning sign you gave me."

"I already told you, that isn't your fault –"

"Like hell it isn't, Spencer. I should've been there to help you and I wasn't. So forgive me."

His eyes had been watery with tears and Spencer nodded slowly, "Of course," he whispered, "I told you that I did."

Derek nodded. "Good. Because I want to start over, Spencer. You and me. We'll get through this together."

After that, Derek's visits were the best part of his rehab. Derek always made him think of what he was fighting to get back, reminded him of what he would lose if this didn't work. Whenever he thought he couldn't do it, he thought of Derek and he found himself ready to take on anything. If it hadn't been for him, Spencer wasn't sure he'd have made it through the entire month.

And now there he stood, packing his bag and leaving the sad, empty room for the last time. Nervous butterflies filling his stomach, hundreds of possible futures running through his mind, but every one of them led to one smiling face. Derek's.

Derek was waiting for himself out, standing in the lobby, grinning the second he caught sight of Spencer. The pair greeted each other with a chaste kiss and a hug that nearly cut Spencer's circulation off and knocked the air out of him.

"Come on, Pretty Boy," Derek was grinning, "I've got the whole night planned."

Spencer couldn't help but smile back. He hadn't seen Derek this happy in a long time and the other man's excitement was contagious.

"Where are we going?" he sounded a bit nervous and Morgan laughed, shaking his head.

"Don't worry, Spencer," he said, "No parties. Tonight is about you and me, alright?"

Spencer smiled and nodded, liking the sound of that. It felt like it had been years since it was just Derek and Spencer, the two of them together. Thinking about it, they hadn't spent any real time alone since the camping trip that had started this whole thing.

He pushed those thoughts out of his mind, determined to not think about _that _right now. Right now, he was going to focus on Derek and the familiar feeling of warmth in his chest at the other man's smile. It had been such a long time since he'd seen that smile. He hadn't even realized how much he missed it.

After a moment, Reid's brows scrunched together, "You didn't answer my question," he said.

Derek glanced over at him and didn't respond.

"Derek?"

"You'll see," he said, "Somewhere special."

Spencer sighed, "Special?"

"Yes," Derek answered, "Somewhere special. Just sit back and enjoy the ride, Spencer. Trust me."

* * *

**~/.\~**

* * *

They pulled up outside of a small, quiet bar that Reid immediately recognized and shifted in his seat, raising a brow at Derek as they climbed out of the SUV.

"This is where we had our first 'date'," he said. "That night I said I love you."

"And I said I love you," Derek smiled, nodding, "Thought it was appropriate, seeing what tonight is, after all."

Reid blinked and frowned, realizing that he didn't actually know what tonight was. "Tonight being…?"

"October 30," Morgan said, smiling, eyes sparkling in amusement as Reid's eyes widened with comprehension.

"Our anniversary,"

Morgan nodded, "One year. Can't believe it's been that long. It feels like it's only been a few months."

Spencer smiled too, and suddenly couldn't stop smiling. Their year anniversary. He honestly hadn't even been thinking about their anniversary, hadn't even realized that it was getting so close. But what better time for them to really start over from the beginning than on the night they'd first said "I love you," to each other?

They sat down in a booth near the back. Not the same one they'd sat in back then, but from where they were Reid could easily see that booth and thought back to that night, remembering the quiet conversation they'd had, remembering Prentiss coming in and nearly catching them. Those had been such different times. The team hadn't known about their relationship, hell, they'd barely known about their relationship themselves.

And now here they were a year later, sitting in the same bar, eating cheap bar food and drinking cheap beer – well, Derek was drinking. Spencer had water. They talked quietly through most of the meal, Derek telling Reid about the case they'd gotten back from and about his mother and sisters.

"Sara said to tell you she's glad you're alright," Derek said, "She and T.J. want us to come visit the next time we've got time off…" he hesitated and smiled a bit, "She called last night to tell me some good news…"

"What?"

Derek smiled brighter, "She's pregnant,"

"That's great!" Reid grinned, "You're gonna be an uncle,"

"Yeah," Morgan looked back down at his nearly empty plate, "So are you, you know."

"…I suppose, in a way," Reid agreed slowly, shrugging a bit awkwardly. "But she's _your _sister…"

Derek nodded and cleared his throat again, letting his hands slip into his lap and keeping his eyes on his plate, "Yeah…" he bit his lip, speaking slowly, finally looking back up at him, smile gone, eyes dark and seriously.

"Spencer, we need to talk,"

Catching the serious note in Derek's voice, the younger man looked up and met his eyes, swallowing. He nodded, "Okay," he said gingerly, uncertain about where this conversation was going.

"We've been together for a year," he said slowly, "…And these last few months haven't exactly been the most ideal, but they did teach me something."

He pause and Spencer nodded his understanding, feeling stiff. A hundred thoughts were running through his mind. What if this was it? What if Derek was going to tell him that he couldn't do this anymore? What would he do then?

"I don't want to lose you," Derek said, his voice cracking a bit, eyes glittering with tears. "I don't even know how I could go on without you, Spencer…"

Well, that had certainly not been what Reid had been expecting to hear.

Slowly, Derek's hands slipped back to the table and Reid's eyes nearly bugged out of his head as he saw Derek's fingers playing with a small dark box for a moment, a watery smile playing on his lips as he popped the lid open to reveal a slim silver band.

"Will you marry me?"

* * *

**FIN**

* * *

**A/N: ***deep breath* Yes that really is the end of "Demons Run". Don't you guys dare get upset with me! You all know his answer anyway!

I hope you guys enjoyed the story! And thank you so much for reading! Yes, there will be a sequel (obviously can't leave it here, can I?) and I'll try to have it up sometimes in September. It might take me a bit; I'm working on other stories and school's starting back, so please be patient with me. I haven't settled on a title yet, so just keep an eye out for it.

Please review! And thanks for reading!


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